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Y so many people look down on younger mumz? READ!!!?
I am 17 & pregnant 4 the 3rd time.. As ii have had 2 miscarriages.. All my pregnancies was planned.. & i cant wait to have a family of my own.. I have read a few questions on here & so many people down young & teenage mums.. When why.. They are just as capable as the older mums.. As long as they are grown up & can look after themselves aswell as baby.. & still have time 2 have more if they want to.. The older u get ther harder it gets 2 get pregnant.. Your fertility levels go down at 25.. & u COULD run out of time 4 having your young 1’s.. Or something bad could happen which could stop u having babys.. &Younger parents are more active so wouldnt that make u a fun parent when your child is old enough 2 play etc.. U will have heaps of energy.. & able 2 make your child laugh & have fun.. Rather then sticking them in front of the tele watching blues clues.. I am NOT downing older mothers.. Koz most of them r brilliant.. I am just saying that us young 1’s are just as capable as u r. & most older mums had thier 1st at around 17 – 18.. & some teenagers have better income than older women.. Some older women just want the income so why is it that all us teenagers want is money & a house.. Because.. Its not true i am 17 earning £1800 a month & renting a house untill i get a coucil 1.. But by the time i get that i will b able 2 buy 1.. Soo i am not counting on it.. U all just NEED 2 realise some of us have got our heads screwed on but just want a baby young.. Look on the bright side.. We will b young nice lookin mums!!!
32 minutes ago – 3 days left to answer.
EDIT..
I dont think u can tell me what i do with my life.. I work in a call centre get £1200 a month & earn £600 commission a month if not more.. I am very gud on the phone duk!! Dont hate koz ii earn more than what u doo..
& yes i am still with my babys father & we plan on havin more in around 3 years or so.. & yes i am ready 4 the responsibilities i am about to undertake..
& there is plenty of time to live & go clubs.. Certain people wanna club 1st & certain people wanna family 1st.. I chose the family option thanks.. & ii have lived a likkle because ii luk older than my age.. So have partied etc..
Sorry im not saying older mums r boring old & ugly i am jus sayin we are not all immature & childish!!x
Can i just say i do know how hard it is because my brothers girlfriend left there baby with us & every1 was at work etc.. So it was just me.. & so what i write in slang sometimes but when i need 2 write properly i.e at work etc ii doo.. My mums 40 & she writes in slang??
THANK YOU im so sick of it all 2. i fell pregnant with my son at 15 and had him two months after i turned 16 he is 15 months old now and i love him so much. Me and daddy are engaged now and loving life. thanks 4 sticking up for us all. and agree with what u said about older mums. see we get to watch and live and grow up with our kids we have more time to enjoy them.
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its just the way ppl were brought up huni! in 50 years or so this will be looked at as a normal part of society. iv just turned 20 and im a mummy of 1 and expecting 1 more. i would have had my first at 16 if things didnt end up the way they did. but jus dont worry about what other ppl think what is important is you and what yoiu want and the descisions you want to make. you do sound very mature for your age u kinda remind me of a younger me did all the partying expirencing and what not now its time to settle down and do the things you really wana do! and yes there are more complocations when you are older but not all the time. just do what you want hun dont worry wbout what other ppl think k! gud luck with this pregnancy! how far anlong ru? im just shy of 16weeks so find out soon wat we havin
and just i might add my dad met his wife to this day, when he was 16 and she was 15 and they got married believe it or not at 16 and 17.
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Planning a family involves so much more than the money. You need stability and support, patience (which I have to say that the older you get, the more you have) and understanding about what is really important in life. Once you get to that point, you will know that it’s not about the money. I’m assuming that you finished school…what about marriage? Statistically, you are asking for trouble where your relationship is concerned. I know that sometimes things do work out, but the numbers aren’t in your favor. Babies are all cute and cuddly, sure, then they turn into kids and that’s when the real work begins. When you are exhausted in the first month of your baby’s life, keep in mind that this is the easy time. I don’t honestly believe that it matters if you are a nice looking young mom or not. Either way, you’re already pregnant, so good luck. Maybe everything will work out the way you want it to in the long run. Unfortunately, life just doesn’t usually work that way.
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Pregnant with baby boy #5
This all was immature and childish. I think you need to invest in a dictionary and an English book.
Honestly, I’m 18 and a mother of one.. some people are actually ready for a baby, and some people aren’t. If you feel the need to put others down and stoop to the same exact level as everyone else, you aren’t ready to be a mom. It takes so much more than money. You need a support system and the ability to be responsible and patient. You will never sleep the same again either. My little boy keeps me up all day and all night just with his feedings. He eats every 2-3 hours just like any typical newborn. It’s crazy and you have to be able to handle the responsibility.
And let me ask some questions. Do you know how much time and effort is put into a baby? Are you continuing your education? Do you know how much a baby can cost?
Your going to spend how much money you make on diapers and wipes a month.
Good luck to you I guess.
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You have to look at it from a different perspective. As an older mom, I’ve gone through just about everything imaginable from all 4 of my children. I’ve gone through my daughter enlisting in the Marines. I’ve gone through one son with drugs. I’ve gone through another son with legal problems he brought on himself and I’m going through my youngest daughter moving out and going to college. There are so many things that an older parent knows can happen.
I think a lot of younger moms think raising a child is going to be all fun and games, and it’s not. It’s very stressful trying to work, keep your family happy, sending your child to daycare and, on top of that, making sure your house is clean and your family is fed. And this is just a few of the things we moms do.
I’m sorry for your miscarriages. I’ve never experienced that part of motherhood and I thank God for it.
I commend you on being dependent on no one but yourself. But just try to see things from an older mom’s point of view. Having a child will bring you experiences you never dreamed of. I think we look down on teen moms because we’ve raised our children and know the pitfalls. Maybe looking down is a wrong term. We just don’t want you, as a younger mom, to cut your social life down to nothing because you have a child to care for. We raised our children and don’t want to raise our grandchildren because our son/daughter made a bad choice, in our opinion, to have children early. We want you to enjoy life without such a huge responsibility for a little while. You can’t fault us for feeling that way. It’s a mom thing…and we all do it.
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Mom of 4 & Gramma of 2
I fell pregnant at 17 and had my daughter at 18, she was unplanned and my now husband and i had been together for 4 years when we found out.
Your not a mother yet so you have NO idea about how difficult being a parent is, trust me honey when your little one is born that’s when you’ll realise why it’s best to wait.
You say your privately renting till you get a council house, well good luck with that, because you won’t get one, especially if your already living somewhere.
I can tell your not mature enough already by the way you phrase your sentences and the abbreviations you use.
Trust me your going to get a shock when you become a Mum, it’s not all romantic and nice its slaving away 24hrs cooking,cleaning. washing,day in day out NO time for yourself and no time for anything other than being a mum.
Sorry if i sound harsh but you seem abit naive about it all, i thought you should know the truth.
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I totally agree with you. I am 24, had my first child at 18, although I’d had a couple of miscarriages before that, and my babies have all been wanted. My daughter was very much wanted, and I am still with her father, she was a bridesmaid for us when she was 2. We now have three children, our daughter who is almost six and two boys, aged 2 and 1, and they are loved, well dressed, have good manners, and most importantly they are all happy and healthy. My daughter dances, and has singing lessons and we pay for everything ourselves, my husband works and I stay at home to look after the children, as even if I went to work the extra money would be eaten up in childcare costs so its not worth it. We live as an extended family unit with my mother and her husband, which cuts living expenses as each couple pays half the mortgage and half the household bills which means that I have more money to give the children what they need and want.
But when I had my daughter especially I did feel that people looked down on me, even though she was planned, even though we were together, because of my age. Not important people, my health visitor was great and when I had trouble with my bro-in-law she documented the effects the pressure was having on me, and what a good mother I was because I was terrifed that he was trying to have my child taken off of me after we had a row. As I’ve got older I’ve got over it and realised that what other people think doesn’t matter. I’m a good mum and my children are testement to that fact, so I just dont listen anymore. I wanted my kids young, and I’m thrilled to have the family I’ve got now, and like you say if you leave it till later you may never get a baby. So long as you have children for the right reasons I really dont see the problem. I have a problem with mothers, whatever age, who keep having kids just so they can claim benefits and live in council houses without paying the rent. They are in my view much worse than teenagers who just want a family and who work hard to provide for them.
Good luck with your pregnancy.
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People look down on pregnant teens because teens should wait until they are at least out of high school.
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A lot of it of that people don’t think your emotionally/mentally ready to have a child and raise them for the next 18 yrs of their life. When a person waits until the are older, they have had more life experiences that can help them with raising their child (finicially, emotionally and mentally ready at a later date in life). When you are still in high school and have one, we see what kind of struggles you will be making. It is hard to continue to go to your classes when the baby wants to be up and playing every two hours in the night, then head to class for 8 hours, come home and study but the baby needs your attention. It makes finishing your edication very hard. Some people it works for them and others it doesn’t. I strongly believe in waiting until you have finished your high school and get some life experiences behind you before having kids. This doesn’t mean you have to go to college, but get out there and work in the real world at min. wage and try to riase a child on the pay? Diapers/wipe/formula are all very expensive and you can see your pay check disappearing before you ever get to pay rent, buy groceries etc. It’s not easy and it is a LIFETIME commitment.
If it’s for you, make the best of it and make sure your child konws you love them no matter what, but if motherhood isn’t for you at this time, get out and experience life while you can.
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Mother of 4 who waited until later in life to have kids and glad I did. I wouldn’t have been able to care for them at a younger age.
I AGREE WITH YOU I THINK OUR CHILDREN WILL PREFER YOUNGER MUMS THEN OLDER.
IMAGINE HOW THEY MUST FEEL WHEN THERE WRINKLY MUM COMES AND PICKS THEM UP FROM SCHOOL((LOL)
AS LONG AS YOUR MAKING MONEY TO SUPPORT YOUR BABY NO 1 CANT SAY SHIT
GOOD LUCK
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28WEEKS WITH A GIRL:)
Correction – Fertility goes down at 35, not 25…
I have no objections to mothers of any age. I do object to mothers who use the ‘z’ instead of ’s’ (mumz) because how can you raise a child when you can’t even use the correct grammar and spelling?
It is at least admirable that you can afford a child, as many teen mums can’t. But it’s not just the money.
And that sentence, ‘don’t hate koz ii earn more than what u doo’, is wrong on so many levels that I don’t have the time or inclination to go through it all.
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your right, as soon as a person gets older they can’t be able to have many children…..and you know what else? i had a friend, her mom was like 34 or something like that. she was suppose to have 6 kids in total, but 2 died in her stomach because of her age and 1 died because of some other reason i don’t know. parents probably look down at younger moms likes that because people want their children to finish studies and balh blah balh. so yeaa
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Firstly let me start by saying I do not look down on young mum’s. In fact I think they must be incredibly strong for being able to cope with having children when they are still children themselves.
I had my children at 20, 23 and 25. I am now 26 and still feel quite young to have such a lot of responsibility.
I know it must seem as if you are being judged and that you need to prove yourself but in all honesty the only person you need to prove yourself to is your child. As long as your provide a safe and loving home environment for your child and provide all the encouragement and love a child needs to grow into a stable adult then there is no problem with your age.
However, I think some young girls who have babies do so without fully thinking it through – a baby is very different to a toddler, who is again very different to a child – who is different to a teenager and so on. Life experience is a very good tool to use when bringing up children – and being 17 – I doubt you have very much of that.
Having a good job is brilliant and something to be proud of yourself for – but by bragging about how much you earn and how it’s probably much better than most people shows immaturity and is the main reason many people believe having kids young is a bad idea.
Although I had my first baby at 20 – I would encourage my kids to wait much later in life to have their own children. You need to live yourself before you teach your child how to live.
Edit: And being cool doesn’t even come into it when your talking about being a parent. Trust me – when you’ve got baby puke on your shoulder and your best accessory is a pushchair – you will look far from cool. I barely have time to brush my hair in the morning – let alone look cool!!!!!!
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im 17 and im totally ready to have a family.. im engaged.. and me and my fiance have definately planned it all out.. i’ve had a miscarraige.. and all these ppl just hatin cause they kids hate them for being old and not energetic or kool enough.. lol.. but yea.. there are actually mature teenagers in this world.. ppl think we’re all just stupid and dumb.. well i have no parents now and i grew up fast.. but i don’t care.. girl live your life.. be happy.. do what you want.. let the ppl hate.. plus.. we’re over dominating them anyways.
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its not that ppl think that young mums are not capable its the fact that your still children yourself!
you will regret having children so young wen u realise that you have missed out important years of your life!
why dont you wait a couple of years, go to college, get a job, go on holiday and so!
expericence life before you bring another into the world!!!
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umm… I MIGHT have read all of this IF you knew how to express yourself correctly. You show a great deal of immaturity, in my opinion, just by the way you wrote this post. Learn how to spell and speak correctly, and maybe people wouldn’t look down on you so much.
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I am a young mother- got married and started my family at 18. Got no flak for it! Everyone supported my decision! But then again, maybe I didn’t portray myself as some young mothers do….
Oh my gosh .. if your pregnant i suggest you grow up fast
We will be nice looking Young mums ..is this while your getting up x amount of times to feed and change a newborn, girl your in for a big shock that’s all i can say, and sometimes do people ever think having a disabled child comes in to this as well its all well and good having a cute baby to dress up but what if your child has problems ..Just don’t think of that though
Another pointer young mums wont sit their child in front of the TV wait till you have such a bad night with your child and see if you say this ..you need a trip into the real world !
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Edit i like your edit ..You had a baby a WEEK so you know what its like …LOL ok
Renting a house till you get a council ..typical UK !
I mean take a look at the Childish Immature reply by
7 months with baby lexie
Says it all !
Yet another brainless WHORE having a child You can barley write let alone look after a child
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Your life,your choice,have kids early or don’t have them, Whatever your choice DON’T expect a pat on the back from all around and to be told what a good girl you are.You’ve made your choice and so just get on with it and stop bleating.
How your kids turn out will be proof of how good a parent you are .
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There are Sooooo MANY things WRONG with this post and some of the answers that I CANNOT even BEGIN to reply. aside from ALL of the Academic Issues you seem to have…Your MATURITY is sadly lacking…it takes maturity to raise a child properly.
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Mother of 3 teens
I wonder if you will be able to teach your child to READ and write properly?
That awful slang you use makes you look really stupid and uneducated & above all – childish – there is no need for slang (also writing ‘ii’ is longer than ‘I’ so actually pointless!)
Looking after someone else’s baby for the day does not teach you how hard motherhood is – you don’t get to hand your baby back – or have a day off!
"some teenagers earn more than older mums" My guess is that that scenario is incredibly rare (my salary has increased year on year since I was 21 in line with cost of living, new qualifications and experience). Have you thought about the fact that with a baby you won’t be bringing in £1800 per month? How will you pay the rent – without relying on a council house (which if you are working you have no hope of getting allocated!)
Seriously, it is your naivaty that gives *some* young mothers a bad name. Reading this leads me to believe you don’t live in the real world at all.
If being a "nice looking young mum" is important to you, your priorities are seriously screwed up.
I would like to see how fab you look after feeding a newborn every 2 hours through the night!
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28 yr old mum of 1 not old, not boring, educated to masters degree level, earning a good salary, don’t sit my child in front of ‘blues clues’ (whatever that is?) plenty of energy & time to have more children!
Do you see how you sound? You have no idea on what you are taking about!!!! My god you do telemarketing as a job? See how I said job there?…you should have a career. Talking on phones will not always put food on the table…this is why we get looked down on is because of mothers that think like you. So black and white. You did not make informed choices as to your future when you got pregnant…you said "I am good…I make this much and my future is solid cause I talk *gud* on the phone" What are you thinking. You dont even know how to spell good correctly and let me tell ya….women who get pregnant at such a young age could have difficulties with their pregnancies…the chances of misscarriage, stillbirth and premature birth are twice as high in teenage pregnancies…mentally , physically. finacially, emotionally young women and men are not ready to be parents. WHAT IS WRONG WITH WAITING? People need to rush things all the time and then we end up supporting you…which we probably will in some way or form becasue you thought on impulse instead with your brain! You need to do the research about the complications that arise everyday with young pregnant women. Its not all about income ya know! Teenage pregnancy is rising and now we know why.
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LOL! Really now, do you think you’re fooling anyone? If you truly had a child, you would know that you can’t support yourself and a child on 1800/month. Your children would also have been removed from your care with your childish attitude.
You have no children, and you’re doing nothing but give the true young mothers a bad name. Go play with your dolls for a few years, and wait until you grow up before you start thinking about babies again.
*ETA* CEM is right – if you truly had 2 miscarriages, I wonder why? Hmm, could it be because your CHILD body couldn’t handle an ADULT pregnancy? Interesting…
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HAHA – I just noticed that you bragged about your imaginary salary, and then went on to say that you’re getting a council house. First of all, if you’re mooching off the government, you’re hardly an independent adult. Secondly, if your salary is so great, why do you need handouts? You’re clearly a liar. Your life must be really pathetic.
Age isn’t the problem.
A lot of teenage mums are fantastic people who are doing a great job of bringing their child/ren up well. It’s the ones who think it’s cool to have a cute baby and do not implement good standards of care. The children who swear, fight and have no respect are generally the ones with young mums.
Many older mums are rubbish too BUT the chances are that young mums do not know as much as they think they do and are raising the next generation to be disrespecting adults who do not care about the rights and wrongs of society.
Go visit any primary school at the end of the day. 90% of the brats run to young mothers and 90% of the well behaved well mannered children run to mums who may not be that wrinkly actually.
So you get good and bad mums of all ages but you’re chances of being a great mum with great children increase with age
Good luck with your pregnancy. It would be interesting to hear your thoughts in 5 and 10 years time.
And btw – why should you get a council house if you can well afford to buy one – being an adult comes with the responsibilities of real life – not relying on other people to ‘help’ you
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Mum of 3
Get your facts straight, the best age to have children is between 22 and 30 according to most studies on women’s health. Prior to the age of 20 you are at high risk of premature labor, miscarriage, low birth weight, and chromosome disorders such as downs syndrome. The same is true after the age of 35. If you want to have a child and feel you can take care of it, that is your business, but when your post like that and don’t even have half the facts correct it tells the rest of us that you are not yet mature enough to deal with a child. I have worked in childcare, and have my own children. They are two different worlds. Taking care of your brother’s child while they are at work is temporary. It’s completely different when you are on the one on call 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I have taken care of 5 infants at a time, alone, but that wasn’t as demanding as taking care of my son, and definitely not as demanding as taking care of my twin girls, and yes my partner is well involved.
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It is your life and your choice. But because you post here, you need to expect opinions since well, why else would you post.
It is a scientific fact that the human brain is not fully developed in the area of reasoning and judgement at the age of 17. That combined with the lack of life experience (doesn’t matter what you have done, it is sheer living that give your experience) sometimes leads to bad choices at that age of 17. I am not saying you deciding to have a family is a bad choice but it may be a choice that was made without all information. You can be a mature 17 but you are still 17, still lacking in development and experience.
I truly hope you live up to your expectation of yourself and that you are a fabulous mom. But the judgements you make in your post combined with your reasons for wanting to be a mom reflect some poor thinking. If you think being good looking and cool are important to being a parent then you are dead wrong. If you think any child would ‘prefer’ a younger mom, again, dead wrong. A mom is a mom, no matter how old. As far as being ‘fun’ and having energy – well, time will tell how much you will have. It is brilliant that you are working and earning a wage but what happens when you have to have the baby? What about childcare? Education? Food? Holidays? Exposure for your children to cultural events? Cost of raising a child isn’t just some jars of baby food.
I’d be interested in knowing your thoughts 1 year from now on your post here.
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Don’t you wonder WHY you have miscarriages (2 of them)? Because God is trying to tell you something. An adult should be planning families, not someone with the word "teen" in their age and still going to gym class and lunch.
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thank you glad you feel me, got pregnant at 15 now [17]. i planned to get pregnant badly that the father didnt [ i know bad desicion] but i have now a 11months old baby, that i love and would kill anyone for him but i would had waited
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I’m 17 and I practically raised my 2 nephews and niece b/c my sis works 2 job leaving me @ home. My niece actually calls me mama. I don’t have a healthy teenage life b/c i have to babysit. This is why i don’t want to have kids but you, you want to and that’s o.k. You have someone to be with you. Not me I would be home alone with the kids…more power to you and no i don’t down teen mother, i applaud them…
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That is just the way society is today. I for one don’t look down on young mums. You seem to have a level head on your shoulders, realise the responsibilities and are prepared to work to support your family. You are also still with the children’s father and have plans for the future. Just rise above it all and enjoy your children and your life. I was 19 when I had my first child and now I can still enjoy running around with my grandchildren and my life as well.
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Young mums are not as capable…fact. Alright, you earn money, but a lot of them don’t, and you may be an exeption – but like everyone else has said, you don’t seem to be mature at all!!
Just because you’ve "done the parties" doesn’t mean in 2 years time you’re not going to want to does it? You say some of us aren’t immature and childish, which is a true point and I completely agree.Young people are represented badly mainly because of the media, which is wrong, but your whole argument just contradicts itself. I think that your point about being a "nice looking young mum" is completely ludicrous!! How can you say you’re mature when you’re making comments like that?!
Most of the girls chattin about bein pregnant on here are only gettin looked down on cos there’s about 50,000,000 posts called "I’m 12 and I think I’m pregnant, am I?" or "I’m 16 and pregnant, what do I do?" They don’t get looked down on cos they’re underage, having sex and/or getting pregnant – they get looked down on because they sound like mindless idiots asking perfect strangers what to do about their personal situations. Really they should be sorting themseleves out. Good luck anyway!
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I’m not.
I just look down on the ones who are irresponsible and don’t use protection. (AKA YOU!)
It’s ridiculous…
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I do not down young moms. I wanted to be a young mother as well. I got pregnant at 17 and had my baby when I was 18. I also provided some help with advice and for someone to talk to but someone reported me for soliciting and it was removed. No one wants young mothers to get what they deserve.
Young woman are more capable of providing for their children then older ones because they can provide the support they need. But you know what? Having a child doesn’t matter about the age. It matters about the maturity level. You can be a damn good mother at the age of 11 as long as you are mature enough. I know I’m going to get lots of critisim for saying this but I really do not care because I stand strong in what I believe.
You will make a great mother sweetheart! Just remember i will be there for moral support if you need it. My email is taytnedfla@yahoo.com
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While you are correct about the fertility levels dropping after a certain age, fertility capability does not beget, emotional stability.
At the same time chronological age does not beget, emotional stability, either, whether you are a teen, or not.
That means, just because you are a teen that, while teen pregnancy is not a society preference, being much older does not guarantee, being emotionally capable of doing it, either.
The only thing you said, that I won’t hold back on, is, since you are trying to get pregnant, going to clubs has got to stop. The baby can hear the noise, from inside the womb.
I am elated that, you are still with the baby’s father
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good answer ‘New Mommy’ i agree with you completely
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